DICK CHICKEN F.A.Q.

MY BEST TRAIT:

Being able to share my love with so many people. Especially blondes.

MY WORST TRAIT:

Hitting cyclists with golf clubs. Maybe that's more of a habit.

FAVOURITE BOOK:

A toss up between "Chicken Soup for the Soul" and "American Psycho".

FAVOURITE MOVIE:

I'm really into feel-good films with a happy ending like, "About A Boy", "Love Actually" stuff like that. But if it's late and I've had a few dirty martinis, well then there's another kind of feel-good movie with a happy ending I'm going to put on, if you know what i mean...

FAVOURITE ALBUM:

Obviously, I love my new single. It's the best. But you know, the businesses I'm in, I need to be at my peak mentally, constantly, so I tend to listen to a lot of motivational stuff, when I'm driving around, or cooking dinner. At the moment I have a great CD I can't get enough of, and it's called "Hit The Best And Forget The Rest", and it's Mickey Rourke, Vince Vaughan and Snoop Dogg describing how they got into some of the finest, and most inaccessible panties in the world. Gold.

I'M HAPPIEST WHEN...

...I'm making others happy. Nothing makes me more excited to see an average family sitting in one of my restaurants, munching and slurping and gorging on a bucket of Dick Chicken. I look at their eyes, their sparkling, ravenous eyes, and I just laugh to myself, you know. I'm like, "yeah, eat it... eat it all. You love it. That's it..." and i just laugh. That's what makes me really happy. That and nitrous bulbs.

LOVE INTEREST:

I love the company of women - smart, sexy women. I like to go on dates, but there's not really anyone special. It's difficult, because the media is always there, scrutinising, you know. They always find you in your most compromising position... hair not done, coming out of a strip joint with a few ladies. And you have to be careful on the phone cos they'll never record you talking to your adopted African orphan children, will they?. They always seem to get that one time you're chasing coke from that guy with the face tattoos.

But as for ladies, I'm still looking. I'm after someone special, someone with all the trimmings. All the extras. Rubber puppies and a freshly mowed lawn, if you get my drift. I'm very passionate, very physical,

FAVE GADGET:

I just love my sausage maker! I got a really good one delivered from Romania. You can make sausages out of pretty much anything. Seriously. The guy I bought it from, this guy Alexi, he said "you grind anything, machine crush anything", so I made some sausages with bricks and nails, and well, the skins broke straight away, but wow!

WHAT DOES THE FUTURE HOLD FOR DICK CHICKEN?:

Well, I'm moving into new markets with my Dikka Masala Indian Restaurants, as well as rolling out my new LickaDick ice-creams, and SuckaDick beverages.

But what I would really like to do is have my own TV show, a lifestyle show where I can offer tips on things like stain removal, and sportscar of the week, and keeping the police out of things.

I could to chat to all my cool friends about what they're doing, provided it doesn't overlap too much with cool stuff I'm doing. And maybe I could sing a song at the end. And drink martinis.